BE COMMITTED

Commitment is a big step in the development of a relationship. Sometimes, we are so eager to obtain that "exclusive promise" from another person that we suppress our own detection systems and ignore the question, is this the person that I really want to be with? Is this the best relationship for me?

Sometimes, we meet someone who is charming and get swept off our feet. We are so blinded by the idea of the person could be, that we miss what may really be there. Unfortunately, there are individuals out in the world who are not wired mentally in the same way the rest of us are. These individuals suffer from an affliction called a personality disorder -- which includes sociopaths and narcissists, among others. However, they can appear wonderful and "just right" for us, at least for awhile. Here are 5 signs you may want to think more carefully before jumping in with both feet:

1. He or she shares everything about him or herself very fast, and expects you to do the same. This shows a lack of boundaries within themselves, as well as lack of respect for your limits. A healthy relationship should grow and develop in trust and sharing over time.

2. A feeling like he or she is instantly your "soulmate". Perhaps this is the case, but sometimes when things move that fast, it is a sign that the person you are involved with has studied you and is simply parroting back the things he or she has learned about you. People with personality disorders are experts at taking cues on how to react from others.

3. Your partner pushes toward marriage or commitment very soon into your relationship. A real relationship does not have to be rushed. If your partner seems desperate for marriage, that could be a sign of a manipulator. It may also be a sign of insecurity and neediness that does not bode well for future stability or realistic expectations.

4. You feel confused, question reality, or feel down on a consistent basis after being with your partner. A psychologically abusive partner may begin to exercise control over you by putting you down, making you feel inferior, less intelligent, morally weaker, etc. This may cause you to feel dependent and drive your desire for commitment as you seek greater stability.

5. Your life feels empty and pointless without the other person. This is a sign you need to work on being happy with yourself, and being you! Take the time to discover who you are and achieve peace with being the person you are. Your relationship will be all the stronger if two complete individuals come together -- not to fill a void in either one, but to enhance what is already there. And if you yourself are in an emotionally healthy state, you will be less likely to fall prey to an abuser or someone afflicted with a personality disorder.